by Tyler Hobbs
The life of a celebrity is nearly perfect. A life of fortune, fame, and flawless women is something we normal folk only dream of. I am writing to you today to recognize the celebrities that don’t spend their fortune on charities, mansions, or the VIP section at the club, but instead spent it on season tickets to their favorite sports teams. These notable public figures pay large sums of money to be in the stands to cheer on their respective sports teams, and for that we thank you. We love you for taking the attention off of the game for just a brief moment to recognize how rich you are for being so close to the game that you can feel the sweat of the athletes (the most sarcastic voice). Without further ado, here are the top 5 rich people whose money you wish you had so that you could scream at the players court side, rather than from the comfort of your own home.
5. Ashley Judd
I am going to go ahead and get the bias out of the way, but her devotion to the Kentucky Wildcats is second to none. Being an alumna helps her cause, because it gives her the benefit of not being a fair weather fan. She has a legitimate connection with her favorite sports team, unlike many of the other fans on this list. Her passion is not lacking, but her attendance is. But since her recent divorce, we hope to see her in the stands screaming maniacally at the referees more often. She is the highest (and only) female that made it on the list, so there is that?
4. Billy Crystal
Billy’s reasoning for being on this list is not because of his devotion to the New York Yankees. Let’s face it, most celebrities and human beings claim to be a fan of the Yankees, though he does make it to several games. He’s on this list because of his devotion to the Los Angeles Clippers. I understand that recently it has become fairly easy to be a fan of the Clippers, but Mr. Crystal has been devoted far before they became “Lob City” and for that I salute you.
Jay-Z, very small part owner of the Brooklyn Nets makes this list because he has been at every Nets game that has ever existed. However, his stock drops because he owns part of them, therefore he doesn’t really have a choice but to cheer for them. But, he brings Beyonce with him sometimes, so that raises his stock, so he lands at #3.
2. Jack Nicholson
Jack Nicholson has been a Los Angeles Lakers fanatic since the “Showtime” days. It is easy to be a Lakers fan, though, since they are one of the best franchises in the history of sports. I hope you readers don’t think that I am showing any bias since he shares my love of the purple and gold, but it is hard to argue that Jack isn’t deserving of his #2 spot on this list. Every game day, you can expect Jack to be in his seat in the Staples Center rooting on the Lake Show. It was a difficult decision between Jack and #1, but #1 is way more animated on the sidelines, and therefore the #1 spot goes to…
1. Spike Lee
Spike Lee is an insane fan of the New York Knicks. He has stuck with them through the good times and the bad, and that is why he is #1. He is always on the sidelines, dating all the way back to before I was born. It is rare for a fan to get involved in the game, but Spike is an exception. Whether it is yelling at the refs or yelling at Reggie Miller, getting shut up by Reggie Miller, or just yelling for no apparent reason, Spike Lee never shies away from his passion for the game and his passion for the Knicks. So congratulations Spike. You are atop the list of crazy people in one person in Kentucky’s point of view. I am sure you will cherish this moment. Reggie Miller did shut you up, though.
I made this list strictly from memory, so if I left out someone important, sue me. (Editor’s note: Please don’t sue us, but feel free to response in the comments section below.)